YaYa's Place

These few days... no, weeks.. had been hard on my family.
Is the one word 'grief' enough to describe what we've been through?
The sadness we felt when we found out that our grandpa only had weeks to live?
The heartache we felt when we saw him, so boney and fragile, moaning in pain?
The anxiety when we received the call from our moms saying that grandpa is dying, and is holding on to his last breath, waiting for us?
Fear that it might be too late gripping at us, running at full speed back, keeping our tears in and clinging on to the small hope that it might be a false alarm?
The uncontrollable tears that flowed down the moment we saw our grandpa?
The indescribable feeling when grandpa, too weak to respond to our calls, too weak to open his eyes, too weak to even breathe.. started shedding tears with us?
And we found ourselves staring at grandpa, taking in every features of his face, remembering it well, as we knew we won't be able to get another chance to look at him.
The ache in my heart when I found my grandma, such a strong woman, weeping silently when we're not around? Or when she held on to my arm, running her thumb across my hand, and I could barely imagine the pain and sorrow that she must have been feeling.
The regret and guilt I felt, when they asked for a family photo we took with grandpa, and we realised that the most recent photo we took together was during Chinese New Year 5 years ago?

I guess time will wash away the pain in our hearts. And we'll slowly get used to the fact that we can no longer see grandpa, because until now, it still feels like an unreal dream..

I'm writing this down, so that many years later, when I read this post, I will not forget the day - 30th May 2009, 9.15pm - the day our beloved Grandpa left us...